Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas with Mom, Dad and Nanny

OK, by the goofy expression on my face you know Mom is trying to trick me again. But see I'm a spoiled brat. LOL. I asked for a Wii for Christmas and of course I got one. They had just about convinced me I wouldn't get one because Mom kept saying no one had them. She couldn't find one and she had asked around. So I know my Mom won't lie so I decided I was perhaps getting a MP3 player or guitar (cheaper). I was cool with that and then I opened what I thought was a iPod and it was a Wii controller. So I KNEW I was getting one, but my Mom wasn't finished, she kept saying is there more than that?? I was like "yeah, just a "wii" more". LOL. So I opened the last package and it was the music composer for Wii and so I was like where is the rest of it. Mom kept saying I thought that's all there was, don't you just put the game disc in the DVD player? Ok, my Mom is dumb about gaming but she ain't THAT dumb. Finally after alot of laughing and carrying on she went and go the system. I was so surprised though, they really couldn't find the basic Wii system. So my Dad found a package deal at Best Buy and my parents and my Nanny bought it for me. It was alot more than the basic deal. It had the music composer game, extra remote, extra nanchuk (however it's spelled, can't remember) and the cables to help upgrade the video aspect of the game system. I'm so blessed with such great parents. I was totally surprised at the amount of money they spent. They always go out of their way to help make the holidays special. The holiday season is a hard time of year for singles. My family was awesome this year. I also got a new ESV Bible, a wall picture for my room from Nanny, Mom and Dad also got me a Bath and Body set, some decor for my room (I'm getting ready to redo my room), AI Encore 2 for the Wii. Chantry and Tiffany got me a Wii game called My Horse and Me. LOL. I also got a digital photo keychain. That is totally awesome!!!!!




















Christmas in Mesquite

Dad, Alan Greenwood and Nanny

Donna Greenwood, Darwin Bell and Dad

Darwin was aggravating everyone so Nanny put him in time out.

Christopher Bell, Kaleigh Greenwood and Grant Greenwood.

Fred (Alissa's boyfriend) Alissa Bell, Christopher Bell


I didn't get many pictures but Christmas Eve night is the traditional get together with Dad's side of the family. Christmas is with my Dad's cousins Alaina and Alan.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

A Poem - Given by Guy Doud

I give you the impression that I’m secure. That all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name, that coolness is my game. I’m in charge I’m in command. I need no one.
But don’t believe me. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask. My ever varying, my ever concealing mask and beneath it lies the real me. I’m in confusion. I feel lonely. I hurt. But I don’t tell you this. I’m afraid to. I’m afraid that if I tell you you’ll know who I really am you’ll think less of me and you’ll reject me. And so I go on playing my game my never ending, never varying game and my life becomes a front. I’d really like to be genuine and spontaneous, me, but you got to help me. You got to reach out to me even if that’s the last thing that I seem to want or need. You know a lifetime of worthlessness builds strong walls that I’m told that love is stronger than strong walls. Please beat down my walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, because the child within is very sensitive.
Who am I? Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well for I am every man and every woman that you’ll ever meet.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A Farm Update

So Gavin and I share the farm I guess. LOL. I take care of the animals and he gets to claim them. Man, oh, man life doesn't get any better. LOL. This is Rowdy-Mator. He is Gavin and my pride and joy!!! Gavin loved Rowdy Mator and we spent forever walking him in the front yard. It was a great time. I love my off days that aren't freezing temps because those are the days I get to spend out in the yard with my animals. I'm not a person with a ton of friends, I'm shy and have a very hard time with teh social part of life. Life will bring you a boatload of hurt and sometimes it's easier to withdraw rather than face rejection again. So I take in animals and they actually feel a void that people leave. They need me and it's nice to be needed. It's hard to be a single female in a married world. I hate it, it never bothered me until recently and like my little quote at the top of the page says, Music is my refuge, I can climb in between the notes and put my back to lonliness. Plus, Rowdy-Mator likes to hear me sing. LOL. I sing and groom him and he eats it up, I'm sure it's because he loves my singing not just the attention. haha.
OK, Mom was trying to get my boots and all she really did was get my **gasp** ungodly attire. On a farm you just don't wear the good stuff out of doors. I'm very proud of my new rubber boots. I was going to be different and buy colored ones, but only leopard print was in my size. It was the Lord's will, I'm sure. LOL. Chantry came over last Saturday and we groomed Rowdy-Mator some. It was so muddy and Rowdy had ROLLED in the mud. DOUBLE GROSS!! This is my baby girl getting some dinner. LOL. Lexington Noel is my goat. She was the first baby goat born on the farm. So she is pretty special. Her sister, Precious was the breech baby. She is so sweet, loves to cuddle.

Ok, so yes, I'm "kissing" Lexi, LOL. I was making little clicking noises with my mouth and she kept nudging my lips so we got the camera and took a picture. I said she was kissing me. She loves her human Mommy!!! I guess you get kisses where you can. HAHA
LOL, Yeppers this is Rowdy-Mator and his nosy self!!! I try to take pictures of him and he always has to get his nose all up in the camera so I took a shot and it turned out pretty cute even if I do say so myself. This is my MAN!!! He is the perfect one too. Well, except he doesn't bring in any money. LOL. I spend all mine on him. LOL.






Saturday, December 20, 2008

Life is Crazy Sometimes

I'm sitting here watching my kitten climb the curtains on my french doors. Gretchen is at the very top LOL. Animals.

Well, with Billy gone, the yard is MUCH more peaceful. Rowdy-Mator has calmed down and isn't doing his little nipping thing he was doing. Yesterday I took him out of the yard and walked him in the front yard. He loved it, we stayed out about 30 minutes or so and he grazed on the green stuff, which means he became a Live Edger. LOL, there is no grass along the sidewalk, Rowdy-Mator ate it all. LOL.

Rowdy wasn't real happy, Lexington Noel kept escaping the yard and Oreo would start screaming so we spent half of our time chasing Lexi down and putting her BACK in the yard. LOL. Lexi thought she was so smart.

I just about have all my shopping done. I have to take Nanny for a few more items and we will be finished.

Can you believe Christmas is almost here? So much going on and our church is having a concert on the 28th. Plus, Mom is having surgery on the 26th. Should be interesting.

Well, time to go feed the farm. The animals probably think they are starving, they always do. LOL.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Goodbye Phantom "Hillbilly"

**sniff, sniff** I miss Mr. Hillbilly already!!! He wasn't a bad boy he was just protecting his girls. I feel bad that Rowdy is here and Billy had to go. But even more than their fighting, Oreo can't have more babies, she has had bad problems both times. But he was so handsome and loved all his babies, he was a proud Papa and got to keep that title here for a week and a half. We miss you!!!







Well, I'm a weird animal fanatic, so go ahead and laugh at me I can take it.

We got rid of Billy, he was fighting the horse and my Mom is having nervous issues so something had to give and he was the first step. So a guy that raises and breeds goats took him. I'm so sad about it. For real, I went out tonight to feed everyone and I picked up the buckets and put feed in them like I always do and my Mom came out to hold the flashlight and said "we only need 3 goat buckets, Billy is gone". I almost started crying. See a couple weeks ago I wouldn't have cared either way but recently he had started coming around and being more friendly. He would stop and let me pet him, but he was already harrassing the girls and Rowdy-Mator doesn't share his food so Billy got picked up by his back and thrown. His constant aggravating Rowdy was making Rowdy become more aggresive and Mom even more scared. So Billy went on Freecycle and he is already gone. He had some beautiful babies, well, his girls did. So he will do well where ever he is living now, it's just sad still. At least we will have 2 of his babies and Brenda is going to keep the little boy with the white eyes.

But we already miss him. Knowing we had to do this doesn't mean it was an easy decision. I just want to cry. It was best for my Mom though, I just hope I can keep my girls and Rowdy.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Baby It's Cold Outside!!!

The temp thingy says 29.6 degrees out and that is cold. Tonight I went out to feed, water and check the animals. The babies get out in this frigid weather and play. LOL. Mom tackled the goat. He was going to slip into the horse area via busting into the side of the barn. Mom was just a yelling. One hand had his tail the other the hair on his back. He was full force ahead and she was full force reverse. It would have been really hilarious if she wasn't so scared.

Tomorrow a man here in Venus is coming to pick up Phantom and take him home. I am kind of sad, he was so handsome, but the fighting has got to quit. So hopefully this will bring peace to the farm and all will be well

Responsibilities Wanted or Unwanted

So I'm awake early today, went to bed extra early last night. That's OK, I have lots of animals to feed in this freezing cold.

My Mom has a fear of horses and this means she can't go in that yard. Nice. She is flipping out over everything. She called me at work yesterday because the horse and the billy were fighting, I'm not sure what that accomplished other than making my nerves bad while I'm trying to work. See life has taken this weird twist and then a severe turn.

Dad's kidneys are working at only about 10-15%. So he is fixing to have to start dialysis. This is scary, dialysis would be 3 times a week 4-5 hours each session. He is edging closer and closer to becoming disabled. I don't know what we will do. We've always made it through Dad's problems, when he had the multiple back surgeries and Myasthenia Gravis, but none of it was quite so... permanent. With failing kidneys you won't go back. Kidney transplant isn't an option at this time because of Dad's weight which is a complication to his diabetes.

Mom also is having surgery the day after Christmas to have her thyroid removed. She has tons of cysts on it. But even more than that she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Not sure what the triggers are, one is the animals and I just don't know what all else, I'm sure Dad being sick is another. I've always said my Mom takes on so much and she goes hard, fast and furious all the time. She gets too involved in stuff like prison ministry, she wants to "save" all the girls and it becomes very personal to my Mom. To the point they've lived with us, took advantage of us, LOL, and my Mom becomes this guilt ridden saviour to all. I've always told my Dad eventually all of it is going to crash in on her and she is going to have a breakdown, it's a given in our family. Even though I thought that, I didn't think it would happen so quickly. But before my eyes my Mom has become a ball of nerves, shaking and freaking out over a horse, or a goat, or anything. My predictions were true. My Mom's side of the family has a very strong line genetically of mental illness and I've always been the weak one that an illness pushed me over the edge. But now it's Mom the one that thought she wasn't suseptible to it. She was strong and could save the world. Now she can't.

The last few weeks I've gained a new role and it's a parent with 3 kids. I've gained responsibility and it's overwhelming most of the time. Dad's health won't allow him to do anything and my Mom is just mentally not healthy right now. It's weird because I've always been the one that falls apart over everything, I'm the one that has fought depression all my life. The roles have changed.

I talked with Mom yesterday as she explained to me that she just CAN NOT take care of the animals at all. I sat there wondering how I'm going to do it. When did I become the strong one? I'm the one that as a teenager threatened suicide. Now I'm carrying the load of it all. Mom said that is probably why I'm single and still at home. Well, I hope not it would sure help to have some support here. It's kind of lonely when you are afraid to get very far away because you never know what craziness will befall your family. I struggle through so much and just want a bright light in this crazy darkness and no one has a clue. No one knows all my struggles, I don't even put them on here with all the drama I write about.

Gotta get up and get dressed the animals are hungry and daylight will be here soon. Hopefully Mom will feel better after her surgery. I hope so, it's lonely in this place all by myself. Thankfully my animals give me something to focus on everyday.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Baby Changes Everything

So maybe it's the Holiday Season or the weather or the Christmas music and decorations, or perhaps it's the fact my 3 female goats just gave birth to a total of 6 babies. LOL. Regardless something has really started something rolling around in my head.

Mary and Joseph and that whole "Christmas" story. Can you imagine? Mary being a young girl and pregnant, you know she was criticized. Can you imagine Joseph? Finding out it's true your girlfriend who you have never touched is pregnant? I know I know there was the whole angel thing, but come on, how would you feel? Sometimes God has us do things we know we have to do but people look down on us or make fun of us or tell us their opinions. You know Mary and Joseph probably dealt with some of that.

To get to a strange town and look for a place to stay. No room, sorry no room. We are full up, no room. Finally someone offered a stable??? They jumped at it as a place to stay. I wonder what it was like. Was it a cave, I've heard the story told that way. Perhaps a big nice cozy and warm barn? What if it was like the little shelters my goats are using right now...

Their shelters are what I call the "Homeless Shacks" They are thrown together things, that is the only way to put it. Warped wood and tarps to keep them dry and warm until their better housing is completed.

I wonder if there was a billy goat named Phantom but everybody called him hillbilly, he might have been antisocial. Perhaps there was a little horse named Rowdy, but he was sweet. Maybe there were chickens peeking into the manger and horses eating the hay and chickens gripping the horse out for eating the hay and a horse that kept wiping his nose on everyone and nipping at their robes.

I wonder what it was like. It all hit me in reality as I lay on the yucky, nasty ground trying to save a breech baby. I didn't care if there was goat poo under me or the remains of Lexington Noel's birth. I didn't care, I was focused and determined on saving that baby. I wonder what the ground was like where Mary was, I really doubt it was crisp and clean. I live on a farm basically, we have close to 40 animals, counting all the cats, dogs, goats, horse, rabbit, fish and a goose. I know what the ground is like, YUCK, but in every one of the goats giving birth I've plopped my behind on the ground and helped. Cleanliness is not something animals care about and in that moment in time I didn't either, believe me that jean skirt and shirt will NEVER be the same. LOL.

Mary had a BABY there. I was laying there helping Oreo and I thought, this is what Mary endured. Someone offered her a stable!!! A STABLE. Hay and smells and dirt and unpleasant stuff and Jesus was born there. Animals all peeking in a small doorway perhaps or squeezing into corners watching.

I will NEVER be able to think of the story in the same way. In a strange sort of way, I felt the yuckiness she endured, my mind goes crazy with what could have happened. I have a good imagination. In all that has happened in the last 3-4 days in some strange way I feel closer to God, I experienced, the awesome miracle called birth and the miracle of a baby that shouldn't have survived, surviving. Even though it was in the animal kingdom they are special miracles for me. Things that let me know God is out there and cares, even for a goat named Oreo, to save her baby. That is a miracle. So you see A Baby Changes Everything

Yard is Quiet!!!!!!!

Well, things have slowed down on the farm. LOL. I actually did my late night walkthrough when I got home from church tonight. All the mommies and babies were sleeping, chickens were all bedded down for the night, guess they forgave Rowdy. Henny Penny and Sweetie Pie were giving Rowdy what for when I left for church, they were none to happy because Rowdy was eating the hay out of their nesting boxes in the barn. LOL. I couldnt' understand them but I'm sure they were saying unlady like things from the sqwaks and clucks they were sending Rowdy's way. LOL. He has a whole thing of hay but it is out in the cold. LOL. The yard was so quiet for the first time in days, it feels like years. Even Billy was being a good boy, he is either climbing or jumping into Rowdy's territory. Not sure why, unless he just likes sleeping in the barn rather than with the girls.

Tonight I was rubbing Rowdy down and Billy walks up to me, I reached out and petted him. I don't know who was more shocked me or Hillbilly. LOL. He jumped and walked off but came right back and just stood next to me to be petted. Now if you knew Billy he is as skittish as they get, he isn't mean or anything. He just isn't real friendly. I think he may be jealous of Rowdy. LOL.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Pictures of the Recent Farm Happenings.

Me and Rowdy-Mator Sunday afternoon.Rowdy-Mator
I'm in LOVE. He is too precious


Baby Sara Jayn and her new and first baby. Born Tuesday Evening Dec 9, 2008


Molly and her triplets. LOL. Born Monday, Dec 8, 2008





Baby Sara was there with her Mommy through her labor, it was so sweet they cuddled up with Molly resting her head on Sara until she started into her delivery. I took this pic of Sara watching Molly deliver her babies



Oreo is so very proud of her little girl. Lexington "Lexi" is one of the babies I'm keeping. Oreo lost her first baby about 10 months ago so this baby is special and she is taking very good care of her.






Oreo and Lexi in their house







Oreo had 2 baby girls Sunday Dec 7, 2008 but Precious, the baby on the left has alot of special issues. She was breech and I tried and tried to turn her but couldn't do it so she is the baby the vet had to deliver. Read the blogs for the whole story. Stephanie is raising her on a bottle right now.













Tuesday, December 9, 2008

From 4 to 10 in three days.

Friday I looked at and bought a 5 year old miniature horse named Rowdy (he’s not really rowdy that I can see so far, LOL). The only time the guy could deliver him was Sunday morning. So I stayed home Sunday morning and they delivered my horse. That wasn’t the end of the day..

All day Sunday my goat Oreo had been acting really strange. I knew she was preggers but because we got the goats from Brenda and she lost her calendar in the move I had no idea when the goats were due. Well, Phantom “Hillbilly” started attacking Rowdy and I finally figured out it was because Oreo had a new baby. The second baby was breach and so after gloving up and trying for what seemed like forever and not being able to turn the baby I called the vet. By the way I’m VERY proud of myself for taking on a yucky task like that, I didn’t know I had it in me. LOL. The vet said meet him right away at the office. When we got there he was working on a dog. Finally he came out and got Oreo finally delivered the baby and the baby had a heartbeat, it finally started breathing and she is alive. She has a lot of issues, she is blind and hasn’t really figured out the whole drink a bottle thing yet. However she’s alive for now. Well, you would think that was enough excitement for one weekend??? NOPe

Yesterday I worked on getting Oreo and Lexington a place to stay. And Molly started acting weird, she had triplets yesterday about 3pm. So I had to quickly build another shelter for Molly and her three. Plus move a fence to separate Rowdy from the goats, I was afraid Rowdy would accidently step on a baby. He liked them, he smelled of them and seem to be fine but I was worried, so the fence is up.

Today Mom calls me all in a panic. Phantom HAS to go like Yesterday. LOL. Baby Sarah is in labor. I was like there is no way, she’s only 9 months old. Well about 5:30 today Sarah had her first baby. So life on a farm is interesting. I went from 4 goats to 10 in 3 days. Needless to say I’m tired and headed to bed early. We’ve had sleet and snow all evening. Biggest flakes I’ve ever seen. The winds blowing so hard it won’t be here come morning.

Hop you enjoyed this little peek into the farm. LOL.

Taniss

Monday, December 8, 2008

Molly is now in labor

Yeah, walked out today and Molly is in labor. Go figure. Yesterday about killed me and we are getting to start it all over again. Great!!!

Baby #1 is doing good, she is up walking around and learning about being a baby goat. Baby #2 is not as healthy, she had a pretty bad start in life she was born with a heartbeat but the vet had a hard time getting her to breath. Now she is doing better but she isn't to the level of the first one. Stephanie is raising this one and I baby sit when she is working. LOL, So right now Precious is laying in a box next to me. She is indeed Precious!!!

I'm home today, not sure if I have a stomache virus or if the stress and everything was too much for me yesterday but I am not feeling well today, that is for sure!!!

That is the update for now, I'm taking a short nap before bottle time for Precious. Rowdy Mator is doing good, he's a little confused as to what is going on but he's a trouper!!!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

A Incredibly Intense Day on the Farm

We had quite a day on the farm today. I am sick with a stomach virus and covered in mucus and blood from a goat. My blood pressure is through the roof. But what a day full of miracles and blessings.

It started with Rowdy Mator arriving first thing. He settled right in and made himself at home with with the hay. I combed his mane and they got his halter on him. The family was happy with how he just settled in. Everyone watched to make sure he and the goats could co-exist in the yard. Mom put the dogs out and suddenly all the commotions going on and there had been chickens hiding in the yard and my girls went after them. People came running from all directions of the house and yards. One is minus a bunch of feathers but all are OK. We went inside, I tried to eat lunch and my tummy didn't want too so, I sampled my food and gave up.

Robert came by in the late afternoon and asked if I was aware that Hill-Billy was being really mean and aggressive to Rowdy Mator. I went out to do yard control and I put a lead ..dy Mator and Robert corralled Hill-Billy in the dog yard. I was getting ready to release Rowdy Mator and Robert goes, "Hey Taniss, did you know there is a baby goat" Of course I didn't and sure enough there was a wee goat. Long story short, Oreo had twins, the second one was coming one leg and she couldn't have the baby. I gloved up and (sorry to the girlie girls reading this, this is life on the farm) was elbow deep in goat, yeah, the baby was breech. I tried and tried and tried to get the baby to turn and I was praying and to my frustration I couldn't do it. My aunt came over and she couldn't even get her hand in. So I called the vet and he said come here and so Stephanie and Brenda went in Brenda's truck with Oreo in Stephanie's lap and Mom drove my car with me holding the first baby. It took the vet awhile and lots of strength to turn the baby. When I had tried it felt like the baby was in a ball and the vet said I was correct. When he delivered the baby Brenda motioned for me because I was outside the room trying to keep the baby quiet. The newly delivered baby wasn't breathing but it had a heartbeat, I thought I was going to pass out from relief. I had already been shaking all over from trying to deliver the baby myself. The vet roughed the baby up and it finally sneezed and started breathing. For a while it was more touch than go and the baby had a neurological twitch which was bad but after patting and rubbing and talking to the baby she seemed to gain some strength. He gave Oreo some shots for different things and we paid him and off we went back home Stephanie in my backseat with Oreo and Mom driving and me holding 2 very precious bundles. We got home got them back in the yard and Oreo was exhausted and still having contractions, she bathed the babies and Lexington ate dinner, LOL, but Precious was still having some issues. She wasn't trying to eat or stand she wanted to sleep and that wasn't good because of the rough time she had being born. I mixed up the Colostrum and Stephanie got her to eat a little from the bottle. I was exhausted, sick and filthy, Brenda said not to stress she would make it or else she wouldn't. Stephanie said that baby was going to LIVE. She took her out to her house and she is taking care of her overnight to make sure she doesn't have any complications because of the delay in delivering her. When Stephanie headed home Precious seemed to be doing well, she was trying to push up and she had drank a little bit more. It's all those prayers we prayed. I'm sure Stephanie will get laughs for many days to come because I was screaming praying like God was hard of hearing. LOL. He wasn't because He helped us.
Because of all of this Billy is in the dog yard still so the dogs couldn't go out to potty so all 4 dogs had to be walked out front on a leash.

That is a crazy day in farm life. I love all my babies but right now I'm laying here still shaking, I've taken by BP pill and the room isn't quite so strange and I'm trying to chill. I still need a shower but when you are this tired and relieved and tired, you just don't care!!!
Oh, add to that Regina had to go to the hospital she was having contractions too. LOL. Haven't heard how she's doing yet.

All seems quiet on the farm and I'm headed to a shower and bed now, with a badly bruised foot from being stepped on by a 300lb mini horse. LOL. I thought it was broken at first but it may be sprained or just badly bruised, it's not swollen anymore and I can walk on it.
I'm signing off, Molly B is due any day...Anyone want delivery duty??? It's magical seeing that tiny baby that would almost just fit in your hand. Birth is such a miracle!!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Adding to our Farm Family

This is the newest addition to our Farm Family. A miniature horse named Rowdy, he is so sweet that I hate to call him that so since he is Gavin's horse we asked for a new name and it's Mator after the Tow Truck in Cars. I tried for Lightening McQueen but that didn't work. I guess Gavin's fav is the Tow Man. LOL.

So Mator it is and is seems so sweet and tame. I went and checked him out and he comes from a homeschool family. I thought that funny. The son had been working with him to pull a cart so I will be looking into Carts soon. The son also had him bowing and kneeling so I'm going to have to keep that up. He seemed to be an affectionate horse so hopefully he is.

He's 5 years old and I've decided that he may be a Light Cheasnut. He's about 8.1 or 2 hands high.







Well, we are still waiting on the baby goats to be born. So far nothing. Poor Molly B looks like she is about to pop!!! Hopefully very soon.








Goodbye 2023 and Hello 2024

  All the posts on what this year will hopefully bring and the blessings from the past year. I'm not willing to discuss the last year an...