Monday, March 30, 2009

Just Feel Like Blogging

So I get in moments of "talkfullness". LOL. So here I am once again typing into a realm of unknowns.

I am very sore tonight. After so many days of busy-ness I tried to get back on track today. Urgh, my legs. I played tetherball with my Mom and then the whole "farm" came out and we played some volleyball. I did some work around the farm and then came in and fell asleep on the couch and slept for 30 minutes. Now I'm wide awake.

Well, I'm sitting here trying to decide where to vacation. I love to travel, I'm going be taking a weekend and go visit Misty soon. I think Stephanie is going too. But I am going to take a vacation by myself and I can't wait. I enjoy taking my books and journal and just going somewhere and doing NOTHING!!! I have some deals through my parents vacation club and can't wait. 8 days of no people, just me and I might even ditch the diet for a week. LOL.

So much is going on right now, so much coming up. So I'm getting tired and I missed Ruby's call so hopefully she will call tomorrow night since it's too late to call her tonight.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Faith


I was raised in a church that believed in Faith. We had faith that God could and would do anything. I remember the expectation we had waiting for the next service, we were just wandering what would happen next. Faith is like a mustard seed, it takes just a small seed of Faith to move a mountain. I was recently talking on the phone to Misty, my bestest friend who lives out of state. She was telling me how excited she was, and she couldn't wait for Sunday to get here so she could get back to church. They had 8 people in their altar seeking the Holy Ghost for a couple services so their Pastor asked them to fast and pray for those seeking. She was talking about how they were believing on Sunday those praying would receive the Holy Ghost and her excitement was so obvious.

I thought about it alot and now I pray God please give me that excitment and faith. I recall those kinds of times growing up seeing people healed and filled. I remember the excitement and expectation of what God would do in our next service. Wondering who would be there searching for God.

I know He is the God of yesterday, today and forever. What he did back then He is able to do today if we have Faith that what we can't see is possible. I pray God brings back that excitement to those of us who have lost it. I'm guilty of just really not caring. Life has a way of throwing us curve balls to drag us down and I am guilty of not getting back up. I am praying God brings back my "child-like" Faith.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Be Who You Are

Don't you love it when you go to church and something you struggle with is preached about. Tonight Bro. Pixler taught on several things but the things he talked about that hit me the hardest was when he as talking about women being involved in our church. I was one of those that felt like I wasn't any use because I'm a lady. Our church focuses strongly on Men and Family, I am/have neither. So I feel lost in the middle. PLUS, I live in fear of rejection and I let my fears hold me back. He taught on all of that. I sat in SHOCK most of the time.

He spoke about how we have to be ourselves and not let others affect us in a way that keeps us from being true to ourselves. If you want to wear bright clothes don't let others comments affect us. What a positive thing to hear.

You have to learn to believe that God will bring you up to be everything He wants you to be you just have to believe in Him and yourself to do just that.

RIP Blondie

Well the last couple of days Blondie has been doing really bad. She was getting worse and was getting weak again, there were no bugs so I couldn't figure out what was wrong, she was drinking water well but she wasn't eating well. Plus, she started "clicking" her beak. The vet said that I was probably right and she was beginning to experience pain. She wasn't wanting to stand anymore and it's been 2 weeks of this. Everything I did I had to run by the house first to take care of Blondie. So yesterday Mom took her to the vet and had her put down. I found that I had gained a bond with a sick chicken, lord knows there wasn't one before. I really felt the loss and failure of Blondie not making it. I was very sad but even more than that I was angry. At myself for not being able to take her back to full health. It was fine until she began to have pain and then it wasn't worth her having to live like that for me to prove I could pull her through. A 50 cent chicken and I've spent over $50 trying to save her, there comes a point where enough is enough. However, I did learn so much about chickens that I didn't know.

See, I love my animals, alot!!! My animals are my life actually. How sad is that? I have very few friends but I have tons of animals. I know I'm such a "reject", LOL.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Blondie is trying!!!!

Well, good news on The Farm front. Blondie is still just plugging along. She is trying to get up on her own. This morning I laid out paper and took her out of her box so she has room to move around more (the box isn't as wide as her wing span). She had those wings spread out and her legs pulled up under her and she was trying for all she was worth to get up. She is much better. If I can just get her on her feet and balanced. Her bad leg is still gimpy but she is using it more now.

She got a bath last night and she did very good!!! She just sat there in the water and let me clean her up a little. I expected a fight now that she is stronger but no, she did great. She is so funny, she is feeling better and ready to get out and go but her legs aren't strong enough yet so she gets those wings open and she gets around my bathroom that way. I started giving her a tad of scratch and she really enjoys that.

She scoots to the edge of the paper and pecks at the carpet, LOL, I am going to take her outside tomorrow and let her peck around on the ground. I am really pulling for her to walk again because my family is just in SHOCK at how well she is doing now. At first no one wanted to do anything, they just wanted me to tend her until she died and there was a couple days where it was kind of touch and go and the stress was really getting to me, but then she started gaining her strength back and it's amazing me how well she is doing!!!

We have bonded and Lil Roo is NOT going to be happy. LOL. Lil Roo hates me for some reason and he is not going to be happy that his little lady and I are friends now. Hehe.

Another tidbit of Farm news. I was in Balch Springs last night and got to see Kris Kringle (little goat) and his little girlfriend. LOL. She is tan and white and he is all black so it'll be fun to go see their babies when they begin to come along. He seemed very happy in that big lot eating away. It was dark and he was out eating with his new little friends. He seemed to be doing very well. Kind of cool to know where he is because when I'm out that way I can see him. I haven't gotten to see Sassy but I hear that she is doing very good and is very spoiled. She has kiddos to play with so I know she is happy because she loves her Humans and kids to play with, she LOVED playing. Which she now has NO horns. LOL. Kris still had his but they are still teeny tiny.

I love my little farm. I'm thinking Mator is getting a little frisky, thankfully the ground is starting to dry out some. This flood that came let me know where I still have to make some changes in my "barns". It also gives me time to change my goat house plans to include a raised floor. I'm going to have to do that in the horse barn too. Lucy has requested a place of her own that that she is laying eggs. LOL. She keeps running the chickens and horse out of the barn and it's their barn. Haha. Onry goose. I'm considering getting ducks, I would love another goose but Lucy may run the farmyard animal wise but she lets me pretend to be in charge over her. Hehe. She doesn't chase me so that is good!!! I'm expecting Silkie babies soon, I have 3 hens sitting faithfully so surely we'll have babies soon.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Another Blondie Update

Well, tonight Blondie will get to enjoy (haha) a bath. Yeppers, she will get a real live in the sink bath.

Last time I posted I was seriously thinking about having her put to sleep. I actually expected her to die pretty quick and now she seems stronger and has been trying to get up on her own. So I'm hopeful but we'll see.

I am now keeping her in my bathroom where I am more available. Today she has eaten 3 eggs total. LOL. Since her appetite is so strong I gave her some scratch and she of course ate the corn right up. LOL. Obviously its her favorite.

So for today she is better. But if she doesn't regain use of her leg she doesn't have a future as a chicken. A couple of people that raise chickens said as she gains weight and strength she may regain use so we'll see. I hope so, we are kind of bonding. One thing for sure once better she will be very friendly to me much to Lil Roo's dismay I'm sure. Lil Roo does not care for me at all. LOL.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Blondie Update

Well, as of this moment it doesn't look like Blondie is going to make it. She is so weak even though she is eating and drinking. She is just sleeping all the time even when I'm changing her box out. So I doubt she'll make it another day or so. It's hard, I'm not that "attached" to Blondie because she has always been standoffish and a little scared of people. But I won't lie when Mr. Cook gave me medicine for Blondie and said it'll either make her better or she will die, I was a little upset. I know though that I have done the best I can for her and there is nothing else I can do. I've learned alot through this process it just makes me sad that Blondie is dying and I didn't know enough to save her in time. But she knows she is loved and she is getting good meals with protein like eggs. The feed store had me start feeding her milk and bread all squishy. She enjoyed that and with it ate her meds. But we are going to let time take it's course and keep her comfortable. I guess if she passes she will join the kitties at the Rainbow Bridge, do chickens go there??? Hmmm, oh yeah, It's "The Rainbow Bridge Farm". Let me deal with grief my way and you can keep on yours.

My Dad is still trying to bust my fantasy that my pets aren't going to Heaven with me. BUT YES THEY ARE!!!! Problem is I don't know where everyone else will live because, come on, do you know how many animals we've had???

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Blondie is Sick (Chicken)

I have a lame chicken. We are hoping it's rickets and will work out. Monday night Mom was gone so I was out alone doing feed/water and head count on all the animals. It sounds simple but it's not. It's quite a job. Burns calories for every 2 minutes I burn 9 calories. LOL. I'm diet/workout minded. LOL.

Blondie was laying in the horse/chicken barn on her side I thought she was dead but when I touched her she moved away behind a brick. I thought she was seriously dying so I tried to get her and she didn't want to be gotten so I figured Lil Roo would take care of her, he is her protector and they are always together. Well the next day she was still alive when I got home so the next morning I called the vet and asked what to do. He thought it might be lice or mites which do to young chickens what fleas do young cats and dogs. Most of you will probably remember my kitten escapades with fleas and how it almost killed my kittens. But with determination and alot of hard work we saved them all.

Well, Dad got the meds Wednesday night and I went out in the rain and fought Lil Roo to bring Blondie in and she was so weak and listless. We put her in a box and gave her .1cc of Bayril and I put a little lid of water and she went crazy and drank it up so I gave her a little bit bigger bowl and put some feed down and she ate it, well she ate the pieces she liked. LOL.

So we gave her an injection again this morning and she seemed to be much stronger. Since she was acting better and not going crazy everytime I got near the box I started checking in her feathers to check for bugs. Sure enough once I got way down in the white fluffy part under her yellow feathers she has lice. They are the same blond color so they were very hard to detect. I went up to Cook Feed and got some Poultry Dust, came home dusted her and they started pouring off of her. I sat there watched them climb out of the feathers walk around drunkenly and fall off dead. I have to say at this point I've taken a million showers it seems I feel all creepy crawly. LOL. She seems much stronger.


Mom took these pics tonight when I was giving her meds and changing her paper and I change her water several times during the day. Tonight when Dad came in to do the injection she was scared and tried to get up by herself. She isn't scared of me anymore but Dad flipped her out. Her one leg is still gimpy but all in all she does seem better.




She is still a very sick chicken. Tonight we gave her a little bit of lettuce and she enjoyed that and then I scrambled her an egg and she tore it UP. LOL. She loved it. The one leg is still not working right and she isn't getting up today by any means. That leg has been very gray and dead looking but tonight when I excercised it there was some pink back in it. The vet said she might have rickets in her legs which could be temporary paralysis. I'm crossing my fingers.


If you are wondering why I am telling this story in such detail it's because not only is this my blog but I can go back and read what I did so the next time I can remember LOL.
Blondie isn't out of the woods by any means. I'm glad the bright green runny poo is gone. Hehe. If she doesn't gain use of her leg she may still have to go down but she is a fighter and so am I!!! So hopefully I can once again get her back up and healthy with the Lord's help. You will laugh but I pray for her every time I work with her. I talk to her and she is getting spoiled I believe. LOL. She will want to be a house chicken. LOL.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What is Domestic Violence ~ Description

I am doing some research on domestic violence in order to have more knowledge so we can hopefully help this lady that I have just become aware of her situation.

If you are unsure if your situation applies or perhaps you are concerned for a friend here is a pretty good explanation or description.

I am looking into resources in Texas so if you know of any please let me know. Always remember when you step into these types of situations where abuse is active it is always dangerous and can't be taken lightly.

Love to all.


What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is behavior - emotional, psychological, physical, or sexual abuse - that one person in an intimate relationship uses in order to control the other. It takes many different forms and includes behavior such as threats, name-calling, isolation, withholding of money, actual or threatened physical harm and sexual assault. Most domestic violence is committed against women by their male partners. It also occurs in lesbian and gay relationships and is common in teenage dating relationships.

In a small number of cases, men are abused by female partners, but because 91 to 95 percent of all adult domestic violence assaults are perpetrated by men against their female partners, this booklet will refer to victims as female and abusers as male. In any case, every victim of domestic violence, whether female or male, gay or heterosexual, has the right to legal relief.

The following checklist may help you decide if you or someone you know is being abused. Does your partner:

  • constantly criticize you and your abilities as a spouse or partner, parent or employee?

  • behave in an over-protective manner or become extremely jealous?
  • threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or himself?
  • prevent you from seeing family or friends?
  • get suddenly angry or "lose his temper"?
  • destroy personal property or throw things around?
  • deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards, or the car, orcontrol all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
  • use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children? hit, punch, slap, kick, shove, choke or bite you?
  • prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to, and with whomever you want to?
  • make you have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually that you don't want to do?
  • humiliate or embarrass you in front of other people?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be a victim of domestic violence. You are not to blame and you are not alone - millions of women are abused by their partners every year. Not all acts of domestic violence are violations of the law. In any case, you need not face domestic violence alone. You deserve help, and help is available.

This was taken from The North Richland Hills Battered Women's Facility

I HATE abuse!!!

So I received an email from my Mom today that broke my heart. She had forwarded me a email she had received from a friend that lives out of the country. This friend has a friend in Houston Texas that is in a abusive situation and fears for her life and the life of her daughter. Her husband is very abusive and it has escalated out of control. The only people they know in Texas is my family. They were appealing to us for help.

Ok, I HATE abuse, I can not stress the hate I have towards it and the people who are abusive. I have seen this in members of my extended family. There is no reason for it other than men who have NO control over themselves and there for feel a need to control others with their anger. I've never lived in this situation, I have great parents and can't imagine the trauma of an abusive relationship.

It sickens me to hear women that have been abused say they can't leave their abuser because they "love them". No you don't love him, he has control over you and has learned how to victomize you into believing you deserve what he is doing to you. You are better than that. I am crying for a woman I do not even know, I've never been abused and I am terrified of what if I end up in that type of relationship. My Mom assures me I won't but these women probably thought they wouldn't either.

I know what it is like to be visiting in someone elses home and see them be hit by their spouse over leaving a package of cheese out of the fridge overnight. I'll be honest I hate that person, God help me I do. I remember seeing a relative that was engaged be pushed and shoved around in front of the whole family while my grandmother lay dying in the back room. I have seen children with the marks from abuse on their body and no one did anything. I recall an instance at church during choir practice seeing a man jerk and hit a child and I'll never forget and I'll always regret the fact that the leadership in our church made me feel guilty for wanting to turn that man in.

Just because you pay your bills on time does not make you a good person. An abuser is an abuser. Every time I hear people raise their voice or threaten their family my blood boils. I hate abuse!!!!!!!

I don't know what the answer is. I can't sleep my mind is racing trying to come up with an answer. I wish I had a place (other than my house) where I could help them.

I have big dreams and they will probably never happen but... I dream of having a place where I can help battered women and their families. So many oppurtunities and I have no way of helping them. I wish I could take in all the battered women in the world and impower them with the knowledge they deserve better. They are a beautiful human being and they deserve the best.

If you see someone that is in an abusive relationship, there isn't anything you can do to force an adult out but don't let the kids stay in that. Do your part, I am not in the position to do so right now, but even if I remain single or if I marry I've always had the desire to adopt children. If I don't marry in a few years when I am financially more settled I intend to foster children. I've always had that desire in my heart. Growing up people thought I was crazy but I really don't care anymore. I have different dreams from alot of people but I know God has placed things in my heart it's just a time of waiting for me.

I know people read my blog from time to time and if you know someone or someplace that helps battered women PLEASE let me know. I can only pray that someday I can do my part and help someone like I should have helped people in the past.

Let the women and sometimes it's the men know that they don't have to live with abuse, get out there is an awesome life waiting outside of that prison they live in.

Prayer for All Who Are Abused

You chose, O loving God,to enter this worldquietly, humbly, and as an outcast.Hear our prayerson behalf of all who are abused:

For children,who suffer at the handsof parents whom they trust and love;for spouses,beaten and destroyedby the very onewho promised to loveand to cherish them forever;for all peopleignored, hated and cheated.by the very neighborwho could be the closest oneto offer your love.

Hear the cry of the oppressed.Let the fire of your Spirit fill their heartswith the power of vision, and hope.Grant to them empowerment to act,that they may not be passive victimsof violence and hatred.Fulfill for them the promises you have made,that their lives may be transformedand their oppression ended.

Turn the hearts of the oppressor unto youthat their living may be changedby your forgiving love;and their abusive actionsand oppressive ways brought to an end.

Amen.
~Vienna Cobb Anderson

Dear Mr. Jesus, I just had to write to you
Something really scared me, when I saw it on the news
A story 'bout a little girl beaten black and blue
Jesus, thought I'd take this right to you

Dear Mr. Jesus, I don't understand
Why they took her mom and dad away
I know that they don't mean to hit with wild and angry hands
Tell them just how big they are I pray
Please don't let them hurt your children
We need love and shelter from the storm
Please don't let them hurt your children
Won't you keep us safe and warm

Dear Mr. Jesus, they say that she may die
Oh I hope the doctors stop the pain
I know that you could save her and take her up to the sky
So she would never have to hurt again
Please don't let them hurt your children..

Dear Mr. Jesus, please tell me what to do
And please don't tell my daddy
But my mommy hits me, too.
Please don't let them hurt your children

This is real people and it's just not right. In the small town I live in we had a situation where a mentally disabled lady tried to drown her small child in the tub. CPS had been called out several times and neighbors knew that she didn't always feed her kids and yet it took trying to drown him before anyone got serious. I also know CPS as we know it now is in sad shape but it takes people being active and standing up for those that have no voice and people in abuse have no voice. They are scared and hurting. They have been abused for so long they believe they deserve what they are getting, that their children need Mommy or Daddy, but in the long run that other parent will drag the kids down also. I had that belief at one time that parents should stay together for the kids. I don't anymore no Dad or Mom is better than an abusive one. That goes for Physical, Mental, Emotional, etc. Get kids out of that and into relationships with people that will be positive influences on them.

Goodbye 2023 and Hello 2024

  All the posts on what this year will hopefully bring and the blessings from the past year. I'm not willing to discuss the last year an...