Thursday, October 30, 2008




Tonight Robert and I went back and visited my old church. It was so great, everyone was so overwhelmingly nice to me. Their new Pastor preached a great message. I enjoyed it, he talked about unity. I really like one part when he was talking about people saying how spiritual they are based on how much they speak in tongues or such stuff. His question basically was Are you sensitive to the weak and new ones? How true is that? How can we truly have unity if we aren't sensitive to those that are down or hurting in our own church family.



The service was over by 9 and I didn't leave the church until after 11. LOL. I had catching up to do. Then we went to Whataburger with the Elms, Moore's, Dusty and James. We had a great time and headed home at 1am. LOL. Bro. & Sis. Elms are very nice people. It was a pleasure getting to know them better.



It was really nice to be there to see everyone responding to the preaching and singing with such passion. I felt like I had gone home to see family. It was so great, can't wait until I can visit again. I borrowed these pics from another page but it is pics of the building and it was so awesome to sit in a service again.








Wednesday, October 29, 2008

God's Will

I'll be honest, I'm miserable. I'm in a why am I here moment in life. I know what I could be in God, because I've been there, but I haven't gotten there again. There was a time I was so involved and busy for God. Church was my life, I've had people tell me that recently but they have NO clue. Church was my LIFE. I worked and that was the extent of life away from church. My church was my family, I was there every spare hour. I loved being there couldn't wait to get back. Hated being away. My life there was so different. I was raised in a home where we were all very involved.

Here is my normal week there. Sunday - Sunday morning we got to the church at 8am to clean and mop the halls (Dad was the SS superintendent), Mom and I were both SS teachers. I started teaching when I was 16. Before that I would fill in. There were times when I would get to sit in the Sr. Hi class taught by our Pastor and his Mom. We had ALOT of classes that found us on our knees at the end. They instilled in us life changing principles. Then it was eat, redo hair and change clothes so I could be back at church by 5 for choir practice. 6:30 was prayer and we were serious about that. Then the service which lasted until 10ish and the to a fast food place and back to the church to eat and hang out until 1-2am. Monday night, the guys would play street hockey and we girls would show up to root for our "guy". LOL. Sometimes we would scrapbook. Tuesday nights were Prayer meeting from 7:30-9:30. Wednesday nights were church of course. That meant be there at 6:30 so Dad could turn on the lights and a/c. Thursday was choir practice. Friday night was youth which could last until 3am for those of us over 18 or had our parents permission. LOL. I lived for those times. Then on Saturday Outreach was at 10 and Family prayer at 7. That is church is my life moments. LOL.

I miss being me, being accepted for who I am not what everyone wants me to be. I enjoyed colors now I'm bland and serious. I was the one who wasn't afraid to try new things. I was always busy being just me. What you saw was what you got. Now, sometimes I don't recognize Taniss and I'm her. I recently decided to be me, not that I was fake I just didn't care and neither did anyone else. I've stepped out and bought some cute things and got some "taniss" shoes. My old friends are happy to see me coming around to be myself.

I miss that life, I miss my old choir and chorale. I miss the youth choir the excitment we had for singing. I miss 2 1/2 hour sunday school and crafts, I miss the awesome times of decorating and eating pizza. I miss having those "inside joke" moments because we knew each other. I miss just having friends.

All this comes from the fact I feel God drawing me. I'm praying about where my life is going. Being single and female is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm tired of feeling held back, I want to enjoy life and God. I'm tired of making do. It's kind of funny I feel like God is helping me and I dont' know what will be the end result. My parents and family have assured me they understand and support me in whatever I do. They are praying God will show me His will. I am headed back so I can go forward. I want to give God full control again, if that means moving on, so be it. Just want to be in His will. I just want to quit being lost in the crowd and be wanted for who I am.

It's scarier this time because more rest on my decision but I know God is leading me and He will only lead me on to greater things.

Goodbye 2023 and Hello 2024

  All the posts on what this year will hopefully bring and the blessings from the past year. I'm not willing to discuss the last year an...