Does The Pain End???

So my heart is broken right now. I'm so confused and want all of this to just go away. Guilt is a funny thing and while it's easy to forgive others, usually, it's so hard to forgive ourselves. This conversation wasn't so hard to have, but the memories are overwhelming and then the guilt comes, but it's no ones fault but mine, I didn't have to let my emotions believe something they would never be able to have. But how do you stop something you don't even realize is happening? There were things but were they really so wrong? If I participated or remained silent and allowed it how do I go back and say it's wrong now? It's all so confusing and the pain doesn't go away maybe it will soon, maybe it will really be over and I can go on with life. Or maybe life will always be this way. Always having guilt, did I make the right decisions? Should I have stayed? What would have happened if I had stayed? I don't think the pain will end, thankfully most days it stays tucked away but it's phone calls like this, when you are interrogated (haha), and people don't believe you are telling the truth and even though you answer questions you always know you are holding on to a part you will never let go, because you can't. Hopefully this was the last call, so I can go back to my normal life and not live in fear of the unknown anymore.