Learning to Stand

I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone yesterday. She is considerably older than me but I count her as one of my dearest friends. She had called to see how I was and just to talk, she begin to talk about some things that had gone on in her immediate family and begin to relay what she had learned through this storm. She told me regarding a situation in my life I needed to pray, not just pray but I needed to begin to rebuke the spirits that invade my home. Her opinion was that the Devil has found a way to disrupt my family and to cause confusion in my life and turmoil and someone has to say "enough is enough" and stand up and begin to pray and push back the spirits of evil. Sounds kind of cheesy but you know what... it made sense to me!!

I try to look from all angles but sometimes it just doesn't make sense. I mean she wants to "save" all these people and we can't save anyone, we can share our faith if they show an interest, but we can't force it on them. I had a moment of guilt recently because I was accused of being the reason so many of our "projects" failed. Some of these people lived with us close to 6 months, then after a couple years disappeared or show up back in jail. It was my "attitude" that forced them to leave our house. Well, if telling someone to help around the house like everyone else and get off their lazy behind pushed them out, so sorry!! If my being upset because you are lying to us or playing games with us causes you to leave and fail. I can't save anyone. God calls people to him and if you are not called, I can't do it. So all that to say I was assured over and over that it's not my fault and only those girls can change their lives with God's help and we can't do it for them.

So that got me to thinking about how my family used to be, my parents always helped people in one way or another, just wasn't always living with us. I remember when we found out a family was having very hard times, we would go to the store and buy double, then we would box it up and "sneak" it up on their porch and run. Or at Christmas when our youth group would get the names of needy families in our church and we would all take a child (or 2) and buy them presents, we would get together and wrap them and "sneak" them to their porches. Do you know how good that feels?? There was never a big scene made about it.

Anyways, last night I was out walking and someone mentioned that their husband was giving them a hard time about why they keep waking up at 5am every morning, she wouldn't tell him but she feels like God is waking her up to pray and she is getting up and doing so. I felt this little prompting in my heart, because I wake up every morning really early, usually I just lay there until I fall back asleep but in this conversation something inside of me nudged my spirit and my telephone conversation came back to me. So with God's help I'm going to try to follow His leading. Since I'm not a "super-spiritual" person that has God always talking to me maybe I've totally jumped track but I want to think that He cares enough to have my friends share their hard times with me so that I can learn His ways and not those of my own.

One of the things shared with me was how a family was having to learn to pray and fight back because they aren't fighting for themselves but the ministries of their children and grandchildren.

I know the Devil uses these people coming into our home as a way to cause division and turmoil in our home emotionally and mentally. I look at how my Dad's health is declining and I wonder what God is thinking. Sometimes you feel like he forgot where you are, but He hasn't. You go through times when you sit in church and you feel so numb and you wonder if perhaps your time is over and life passed you by. I am refusing to listen to the Devils little lies. Do I always overcome them and stand strong? No, most of the time he knocks me down on the ground and stands on me. But it's not how many times I get knocked down, it's how many times I get back up. Plus, God is my "daddy" and he is with me.

I know and I believe that everything we go through has a reason. Sometimes it's years down the road that something happens and while helping someone through it you realize, this is why!!! Those moments make it worth it. Since we are human though, we soon forget it and fall prey to those old feelings and failings.

God knows my past, present and future and He knows me better than I know myself. Every little nugget of faith I regain is taking back everything I've lost and the Devil knows if I ever figure out that if I put my whole trust in God, I am unstoppable.