I Thought It Was All Good

But since at 2am I was told I was "such a very selfish person, the most selfish person I've ever known" I guess it wasn't. Hmmm, that's funny all because I would not give up my bedroom to a guest??? Because I wasn't sleeping on a couch when everyone got home at 1:30am this morning. So I was goaded and awakened over and over. It was my "punishment" I guess. I get so tired of fighting. But today I didn't feel any guilt just a twinge of a feeling that says once again I can't measure up to what my Mom wants me to be. Today it's not guilt it's something different, I would say maybe failure. I had already let her know I would not give up my room, the guest could stay with me but I will never again be giving up my room unless it is my choice. Somtimes I wonder why I have to deal with this over and over and over again. I try to push it away but it doesn't always go so easy. Sigh, I have to wonder again why my life has been like this.

I won't bore you, blog, with the details, just know that at 3am when I was being royally griped out and informed the least I could do was take my Dad to work something inside felt dead. I have offered over and over to take my Dad to work if I needed to. The offer is usually turned down and it doesnt' matter to me. Just let me know so I can get ready earlier because I have to leave 30 min earlier to take him but I don't mind. I have offered several times, but then to be verbally attacked by the phrase "it's the least you can do". You know what? I don't HAVE to do anything! I'm 32 and paying my own way through life.

I looked it up online to see what proper ettiquette is for overnight guests. No where did I see where I am supposed to give up my personal space. That is my private space and no one respects that. Sorry, I'm just a little hurt and angry right now. I can't understand why???