Then today I took my Nanny to Midlothian for a MRI and I walked in to the waiting room to find this. LOL. So I quickly took a picture of him and posted it via my phone to Facebook. LOL. I even added a message to the affect that this was my Mr. Right and I was too late. LOL. Everyone got a good laugh.
Sometimes life does seem to have passed by, can you believe next month I'll be 32?? I have to wonder why my time never came. I was going through pictures today and ran across pictures of my friends weddings, I walk in my closet and there hangs all my dresses from those weddings. LOL. Doesn't seem fair does it? But you know there are days when I think it's better this way, perhaps marriage and kids aren't for me. Most days though I wonder if I missed out on "the one". I know what it's like to really love someone and to watch them go away and to always wonder, what if... I know you have to get over things and go on and live life but I think I'll always wonder if I made the right decisions for my life. Did I miss out on the one person? All the jokes and comments I endured because I didn't date around, and for what? To be 32 and single?? To think I didn't have a choice really my parents made sure of that. They did what they thought best for me and I'm living for God today so maybe it was best and perhaps I shouldn't question. I just have to wonder sometimes at what could have been if our choices were different.
I had people tell me just this weekend I ought to get my own place and maybe I should. I can't though, I believe you have to be responsible and I know my parents need me. Tonight Mom was flipping out about the horse and the rabbit having mites, she was explaining how she feels like she can't handle it and just this morning she was helping my Dad to his desk at work because he was to dizzy to do it on his own. I see him get up and fall, when I make jokes about leaving Dad actually tears up and says I can't go right now. I want to run far away and find the life my friends have, try out the whole marriage and kids, so it's not all it's cracked up to be but that gives you a support system that as a single I don't have. They don't understand what it is to day in and day out have to be the strong one and go it alone. So today was a bad day, tomorrow will be better.
Yesterday I actually comtemplated getting rid of all the animals, the stress of them getting ill or having issues and my Mom having a nervous breakdown over it gets to me some. However I go out and sit in the yard because I'm overwhelmed and the world goes by and no one knows, then here comes Rowdy and all the goats, my dogs and cats and they want to be loved and have lots of love to give back, only because they know I'm the hand that feeds them. LOL. They know when their owner is upset and they have their own little ways to jostle me into reality and off my pity party. LOL. I can't get rid of my animals they are seriously my stress relief. I come home, put my things in my room and head outside. I feed and water them and then get the brush and give Rowdy a good going over, combing his mane and tail. It's peaceful, Tonight I sat outside for awhile and Rowdy came up to put his face in my space. LOL. He doesn't understand the whole breathing room thing. LOL. Oreo and Sarah were laying down behind me and Lexi and Prec were fighting to see who would get the most lap room (since they are too big individually) Come inside and there were Laycie and Frostie waiting to give me kisses and remind me that they wanted a rawhide piece. Then there is nothing like going potty with a rabbit as company. LOL. He isn't feelign well so he has been living off and on in my bathroom, in the shower. LOL. However go in there to take care of business and he comes out to see if you need help I guess. LOL.
Well tomorrow I'm going to work for AG again. It's Father's Day and they always need extra help so I do it for extra spending money.
Oh, and vacation. On our way to Colorado we stop in Amarillo to spend the night and we are going to see Texas (outdoor drama in Palo Dura Canyon State Park) the 7 Falls, then we will spend a week in Granby at the resort and Rocky Mountain National Park, if we get bored we are going to drive over to Boulder and tour the Celestial Seasonings Factory and watch tea leaves be made into tea in the bags, if I can work it out we may hit the Dinner Theatre where they are performing Annie right now. I love Annie and "tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll love you tomorrow it's only a day away". LOL. We'll have to see if it works out because I also want to drive up to Wyoming so I can add it to the list of states I've been too. Then headed home we are goign to Pikes Peak, Garden of the Gods and Focus on the Family. That's alot to pack in 10 days but I'm getting excited about it.
Oh and for those that keep up with all my drama, I thought a few weeks ago I had light at the end of the tunnel, but it was only a small, short candle along the way and before I got to it, it had burned out. So I have really been praying God would help in this situation. I have been trying VERY hard to have a good attitude and treat people kindly and not let little kids drive me crazy with the daily reports on how animals are doing WHEN I WAS JUST OUT THERE. LOL. So, looks like after vacation they are going home. I really feel like God is working it out and just in time. LOL, tonight Mom was expressing how she can't handle the stress from Dad and then the animals too. I laughed because I don't feel crazy abotu the animals but I do about people living inside our house. I told my Mom maybe God was letting her feel what I feel> LOL. No, the stress from my Dad being so sick is very hard. He is almost blind, can't drive anymore until he has eye surgery and that may be awhile. But I've already let it be known, this isn't happening anymore.
Well, it's 2am and I'm still wide awake, this is driving me CRAZY, LOL. I hate insomnia and I have to get up so early. **sigh**.
Night all.
1 comment:
You are a beautiful *young* lady with your whole life ahead of you and I have a very strong feeling that includes a family all your own. Maybe God is just working all those kinks out of him *before* he gives him to you?
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