Life Decisions

So I'm taking a time in my life to seriously consider where I am in life and where I should be and where I am headed. I've taken a big step in considering stepping out on my own. I can already see things could get rough. LOL. My Nanny wants to step out with me and it won't happen!!! This is a freedom I need as a adult, as a grown daughter and as a single adult. I need to find a place to find friendships that are strong and lasting and a place to call my own. I have dreams of my own that I can't find as long as I am trying to be Jill of all trades. So I'm taking a new direction in life, looks like I'll be the member of a different church. It's larger and different in alot of ways but I like it. I took my Dad with me last Sunday and he approved, enjoyed it alot. Told the pastor to take care of me, in which he said he would put me to work. There is so much going on. There worship is close to how I grew up. I feel an excitement I've not felt in years. Maybe it's the change or maybe it's because I'm finding my place. I've found me in the last few months and now I think I'm finding my place. I'm sure there is still alot of things I'll have to figure out but I feel a peace and I don't know like a warm fuzzy feeling and I'm not drinking. LOL. Never have and never will.

Mom was telling me she felt such a happiness Sunday and Bro. Najera even spoke about how she was trying to find her way a few Sundays ago and our country roads were flooded, he told her he felt like the sun was coming out. Mom said she feels like it's because she has known for so long that we were unhappy and miserable and now that we are finding happiness and a place to really belong she is happy.

I think part of it has to do with there not being any stress because of people living with us. It's been a really good last week overall. I feel like my life has begun again and it's a whole new world to explore. The church I've been attending has a focus on helping hurting people and I can see that they except you where you are and be a friend and help you grow.

I'm still praying about it but I really believe I've found a place to set up roots. It's big and I'm just a small boat in a huge ocean but you know if you are where you are supposed to be you can grow into a healthy and happy person and reach out like you know you should.

I'm sure I'll write more soon, for today this is it!!!

I'm tired, stress of my doctors appt really wore me down. LOL.