House Blog

OK, so my house and the process of everything to do with it is now set up. Go on over and enjoy!!! http://girlandherhouse.blogspot.com/

Update

Well, my word. Just scanned my own blog and I've not put up any recent pictures of my house. LOL.

Alot of people over in Facebook land like to read my ramblings and I don't always have time to stop over here and chat. So here I am, gotta few minutes to sit and chat. I'm going to start a new blog I think, I'll keep this one but start one I don't mind sharing with the world. I mean if you want to read this one, read on, but I post it all here when I'm in my moods. Helps me get it out and then I feel better and the only one the wiser are the few of you that show up here. LOL. So watch for my new blog and I hope you enjoy it.

My Thoughts of Recent Days!!

Alot has changed in life in the last few months of life. Ups and Downs. Ins and Outs. I'm coming into a mood of wanting to blog and write and put my thoughts and feeling down somewhere and so I always tend to find my way back here to the blogospere where I put my thoughts down in a area that I have found that I can put my tears, fears and some happy times too. I've written in my darkest days and in my happiest days and in those days like recently where I feel God has me at a point of decision... How far do I really want to go OR let me phrase it this way, how close to HIM do I want to be?

What a week or so ago Bro. David Smith was at our church and on a Tuesday night he had us prophesy out loud. Just whatever we could think of put it out there and begin to claim it. He even said, "Some of you will see your miracles/healings coming to pass by this coming Sunday". I thought well, I've NEVER done ANYTHING like that in my ENTIRE life, LOL, so why not. I'll do/try/say anything 1 time. So I begin to just lay it all out there for God, I spoke of everything from my family and home life, to my brothers family and life to my aunts family and life, my job, my job, my JOB, haha, my health, my weight, my singleness, my desires and dreams, my desire/dreams/thoughts, etc on what I thought was where I belonged in ministry in my church, I just laid it all out there. Sunday night or Monday night Teresa and I were sitting talking in the living room and I was sharing a testimony from church and I said, I guess I didn't pray or talk right or something because none of mine happened. She said yeah, and then she asked "Did you pray about your weight?".

LOL, I thought it over and said yes, I prayed that God would give me whatever I need to help me lose weight, she gave a little laugh and said "Ummm, your personal trainer is moving out here". I stopped and thought about it and laughed, I guess God did answer it just wasn't really what I was expecting.

Lezli has come to stay with us and I believe help me with my weight loss. She has already begun to help me, we've walked and worked out and honestly, I am feeling better already. I'm excited to see what will come along for me. I was thinking tonight not only will she help me with my weight loss but in helping me there I will begin to feel better about myself and then my confidence will come back and maybe someday, "Taniss" will totally emerge again. LOL. Amazing how life and work and people can drag you down until you don't even recognize yourself and you have nothing left and they don't even realize the damage they are pouring onto you. It's sad.

I was talking with Lezli Sunday afternoon and we were talking about God and church and such and we begin to talk about sacrifice, I don't think I realized it until recently exactly what was happening but inside there has been a stirring, for the deep things of God, it's been there to an extent for years but it's like lately I'm not just longing for it, something is calling me, reaching for me. I've been to that place before and it's a closer walk with God. I loved it, being close to Jesus is more important to me than anything, I've said it a million times. The past few weeks I've been praying asking God to draw me deeper and the things and people I have to leave behind, give me the strength to give them up. See, recently several of my long time friends and I have just drifted away from each other. I tried to keep contact and they were always so busy, family and work, social activities, etc. At first it hurt and then I remembered back then... When lonliness was common, people didn't understand me and only Jesus mattered. Sacrifice!!! I told Lezli the more we sacrifice or the greater the sacrifice it seems the closer to God we get. I know the sacrifice, I've been there before, to my flesh it hurts, I don't want too... But to be close to God, for that amazing anointing to fall over me once again, to find that place where HE finds me. Am I willing to sacrifice it all again? It hurts, it's lonely, people think you strange...

Time to choose.

Getting Life Back On Track

So I kinda got derailed in life and went through a bumpy patch but with God's help it's all going to get back on track again. Sometimes things in life overwhelm you or people hurt you and if you can't find a way to work through it, it will overtake you. The hurt will consume you and make you withdraw into your self where no one else can reach you and in your mind you won't be hurt anymore but it's funny how you can build walls so big and thick and tall and people that want to help you can't find a way in yet the hurt keeps coming. It's when you pull down the walls and let people in and make yourself vulnerable that you can begin to heal those wounds. You have to also begin a process of learning to not let those same situations or people continue to hurt you, you have to find a way to seperate yourself even at times cutting ties with those people.

Get Connected Singles Conference

Enjoying a nice holiday Monday!!!! Always nice to have a day off and no where to go, nothing to do but catch up on house work. LOL.

Had a good weekend at Get Connected Conference in Harker Heights. I went kinda grudgingly, LOL, Been just kinda blah in that area. LOL. I'm content in my singleness for now.

I was so blessed by Bro. Jason Sciscoe's messages. The Wrong Side of Fear and I can't remember his title on Saturday but the messages are those that stick with you for a lifetime.

Never be ashamed of your singleness, it's hard because you have to endure so many comments and questions and it's hard to believe that there isn't something wrong with you but God's Word never lies so it's settled, all the hurt, rejection, failures are blessings because they are directing me and leading me into what God has for me. My single years are the years I can put my focus on God.

Can't wait for my USB of the services arrive... I see those 2 messages on repeat on my iPad as I walk and jog. I think it's starting to dawn on me that if I'll start the process God will finish it. He cares about me and He sees all my tears and hurts and like Bro. Sciscoe prayed over me, God is healing my brokenness and when He is done healing me I will look back and see the blessings in my brokenness.

So I'll begin to go up the mountain because you can't stay on the plains, you have to go UP to meet with God. Funny how all that you want and it seems it should be so simple and yet it's always in the future. I'm about to change things in my life, I've got to get myself back to the basics of what I was raised on, Loving God, everything has got to be about Him. I know what I've got to do but it's easier to "know it" than it is to "do it".

So God and I are about to start a journey together. I've learned that I'm OK as a single, I can survive it. LOL. I've got to have His Power, His Glory, His Anointing and it always comes with a price, am I willing to pay it???

Update

So, the whole house deal is sooooooo slow. It only takes money and it just seems there isn't enough to get it all done, you know?

I feel like a body with no home, I'm sleeping on a strange bed OR a recliner, just got too hot out there. It's depressing, I've not even been out there for a week. Sad but true. However, I do plan to work on my house Saturday. My plan was to get the ditch trenched for my underground wiring but it's rained so much and rain is in the forcast so the clay is just too moist. So probably, hopefully finances work out for a little bit of insulation to go in. I have GOT to get it liveable so that my nerves can get to normal and I'll feel like I belong again.

Today I learned one of my favorite authors finally has a new book out!!! YES!!!! Come on Dee Henderson. LOL.

Ready or Not I'm IN!!!

So, I moved in my place. LOL. No insulation and only a window unit, I'm in and it's mine that is ALL I care about!!!

Tomorrow I'm going to hopefully get a little insulation and sheet-rock in. LOL. Gotta do something it is unbearable during the daytime. Nights are fine, it gets chilly in here but daylight hours are a bit rougher. I jokingly say I'm living the primitive life and truly I am!! Haha. I have 1 lamp and my window unit and my belongings. You know I feel so much more peaceful and happy just me and my own little house named G. The company I bought the cabin from was named Graceland so all their buildings have a G on them. LOL.

I had it all laid out for my bedroom and closet idea and I guess I didn't have a clue what I owned. LOL. So my bedroom is sort of a closet. Instead of a closet in my bedroom I'm going to end up with a bed in my closet. HAHA. I just hope I figure out how to get a twin bed in there. Hehe.

Gonna run on to lala land. Tomorrow holds a full day of organizing and though I want to sleep late if I'm smart I'll be up as soon as the sun is bright enough to start working and get it all organized and a big chunk of my insulation up. It would be nice to stay cool all of the time. LOL.