Holidays are Upon Us...

I’m so excited to be entering into the Holiday Season!!! I love Thanksgiving and Christmas time of year, it’s cool/cold outside and I get such good sleep. I enjoy the food, it’s the only time you have to make that many decisions on what to eat. I don’t plan on killing my diet but I do plan to enjoy myself. LOL.

Our family is doing something different this year. We are doing potluck and you bring food that YOU like, so Shawna and I are doing Italian, and we are very excited. LOL. Then we are going to do homemade gifts, I’m thinking baked goods, OR like a Christmas relaxing time basket, to include snacks for in front of the DVD player, LOL, with mugs, hot chocolate and marshmellows, etc. LOL.

It really sucks though being single at this time of year. I love exchanging gifts, the not knowing and trying to find the perfect gift. People with families don’t want to or can’t really do the whole gift thing because they have kids and families etc. But it really makes Christmas lonely and sad. I love the hustle and bustle but wish Christmas Day was a little more fun for me. Most of the time singleness isn’t so bad, you can work or play and forget the pain of it all, but then families segment off and you remember just how lonely being single is. I hate “family” situations where I’m left standing alone, it’s actually pretty cruel and people don’t realize it.

OK, on to something else, I’m working on changing and have already made changes in that area of my life. So happy thoughts please. LOL

I have a few ideas for gifts. I’m so excited!! Thanksgiving will be different this year, we always trade out years, one year is Mom’s side of the family and the next year is Dad’s side of the family. This year is the year for Dad’s side and Nanny is making rumblings that she ain’t gonna feel like going. So it may just be the 4 of us. Mom isn’t wanting to cook so she mentioned going out to eat. I hate that… So un-holiday feeling. Sometimes I think the older you get the more joy that gets sucked out of life. You don’t have those moments to share special times/people with.

So maybe I’ll do Thanksgiving this year… Cook it myself. Hmmm, idea. I wish my Mom would slow down in life so she would feel the energy and joy of holidays again. It used to be fun and now she wants to just skip it.

I am considering doing baked goods and giving them to a lot of people though, I have some cute ideas in my head. So I thought if I work them out and get it all together that would be so much fun!!! I love giving gifts and it does help a little bit because it gives you a reason to keep going.

I think I need to work on ways to find Joy for myself. I’ve got to get past what my family does or they will drag me down too. I intend on finding and keeping the mystery and magic of the Holidays!!!

Life Changes Going Good

So I'm liking the new church. The music is to die for!! I'm thinking of making it permanent so I can be a part. LOL. The size is a new experience for me, I've been in bigger churches but this is HUGE!! Everyone has been overly friendly in a good way. It's been awesome to reconnect with old friends.

For so many years I've carried so much guilt and regret and with one meeting it's gone!! It's like that huge load just lifted and went away. I thank God for that.

I'm going to the gym 4-6 time a week and it's going well, you can check that out on my weightloss blog.

Hoping to begin attending Bible college next year to take music. Very excited about that!!! I want to be able to give my best to God and not of myself. I get tired of music based on a person's ego. I just want to worship and use my talents and let God get the glory. Who cares if I become anything or a name, if He is pleased that is all that matters!!!

Gonna Start Shopping at CVS!!!

OK, Ruby has told me all the deals and steals she gets at Walgreens or CVS and today I stumbled across a blog where a lady keeps tabs on her CVS steals. LOL. She is buying $5 toothpaste for $0.25. Yeah, I've got to get on this train. LOL. So I'm starting to gather my coupons again, which is fun to me.

I have a plan, I'll only clip the things I actually buy. LOL. I love the clipping part and get clip happy but then I have a bunch of coupons I'll never use. So I'll let you know how it goes. Hoping to start finding coupons for what I use!!!

I'm telling you I'm ready to learn this secret and I'll post the results on here for you to see. LOL. Ruby will be so proud. I even promise to shop with her stores. Haha.

Hmm, I'm now registared on CVS.com. I'm really trying to get away from the whole Walmart thing. I hate shopping there and it's gotten to where it isn't any cheaper for what I'm buying so why torture myself??? I've not been to Walmart in over 2 weeks. YAY me!!! I've shopped at our local grocery store, David's, Family Dollar AND CVS. So we'll see how this goes!!

Life Decisions

So I'm taking a time in my life to seriously consider where I am in life and where I should be and where I am headed. I've taken a big step in considering stepping out on my own. I can already see things could get rough. LOL. My Nanny wants to step out with me and it won't happen!!! This is a freedom I need as a adult, as a grown daughter and as a single adult. I need to find a place to find friendships that are strong and lasting and a place to call my own. I have dreams of my own that I can't find as long as I am trying to be Jill of all trades. So I'm taking a new direction in life, looks like I'll be the member of a different church. It's larger and different in alot of ways but I like it. I took my Dad with me last Sunday and he approved, enjoyed it alot. Told the pastor to take care of me, in which he said he would put me to work. There is so much going on. There worship is close to how I grew up. I feel an excitement I've not felt in years. Maybe it's the change or maybe it's because I'm finding my place. I've found me in the last few months and now I think I'm finding my place. I'm sure there is still alot of things I'll have to figure out but I feel a peace and I don't know like a warm fuzzy feeling and I'm not drinking. LOL. Never have and never will.

Mom was telling me she felt such a happiness Sunday and Bro. Najera even spoke about how she was trying to find her way a few Sundays ago and our country roads were flooded, he told her he felt like the sun was coming out. Mom said she feels like it's because she has known for so long that we were unhappy and miserable and now that we are finding happiness and a place to really belong she is happy.

I think part of it has to do with there not being any stress because of people living with us. It's been a really good last week overall. I feel like my life has begun again and it's a whole new world to explore. The church I've been attending has a focus on helping hurting people and I can see that they except you where you are and be a friend and help you grow.

I'm still praying about it but I really believe I've found a place to set up roots. It's big and I'm just a small boat in a huge ocean but you know if you are where you are supposed to be you can grow into a healthy and happy person and reach out like you know you should.

I'm sure I'll write more soon, for today this is it!!!

I'm tired, stress of my doctors appt really wore me down. LOL.

Life Moments

So life is so back to normal. LOL. I am working on a project I've wanted to do for over 5 years, put wood looking laminate flooring in my room and bath. I'm so excited!!! I bought 1 case last night to see what it will look like and make sure I like it. It's awesome, it dawned on me last night that I want to repaint my bathroom and that should be done BEFORE the floor goes in. I'm going to start out trying to do this on my own, we'll see how it goes. I am going to start tearing out carpet today!!!!!!!

My allergies are so bad and I've discovered as I have gotten older I've obtained a cat allergy and I'm beginning to think a dog allergy also. Laycie and Frosties are so fuzzy and shed so bad and I think this is a problem now. LOL. I love them dearly so can't get rid of them, so I'm goign to try taking up the carpet. No more animal dander in the carpet, no more mold from cleaning the carpets, no more allergies from dust from the vaccum. So I'm thinking this is a great idea!!!

I will be posting very soon regardign the Biggest Loser and my gym/weightloss stuff on my weight-loss blog, so stand by.

I'll post more later, with this wonderful weather, I'm thinking of getting outside for a bit!!!!

Learning To Live For Today!!

So I've been busy lately, alot going on at home. My grandmother has her never ending train of doctors, she keeps me VERY busy on my off days. Then Dad has has 2 eye surgeries and the surgery to get his artery and veins in his arm ready for dialysis. All that in one month. LOL. Oh, and of course the pump INSIDE the septic tank went out and we got to buy a new one, how nice. LOL.

So on the farm front things are drying out and the animals are oh so happy. LOL. I'm happy too, that I'm not wading 6 inches of mud twice a day. We needed the rain but it sure does make things rough on the farm. It's still soft but the sun has done a great job at drying it out so far. I'm thankful.

Katie turned 5 who would have thought it's been 5 years since the little one was born?? WOW, I didn't get to do the whole campout thing because I've been sick, battling pnuemonia. So I thought I would be cute and go just for a couple hours, I seemed to do OK, until yesterday morning and yuck. I paid for it big time. Today I feel a bit better. Very tired though, I have to stop at the store and then home to veg out on the couch. LOL.

I've really been searching out God's will for my life. I guess I didn't really realize it but according to my family I've been very unhappy for some time. After talking about it with my parents and praying about it they have urged me to step out on my own and visit around and find a place that has a good singles group. It's kind of scary, lol, I'm not one that enjoys doing things on my own. I'm trying though and I've had such peace about it. I've enjoyed seeing family and friends and just not having any responsibilities right now. God is good!!! I know if I continue with pray and solid advice from people I respect I can follow His leading. I don't understand fully why I am where I am right now. Why I can't just go lead a normal life like everyone else, but then I see the healing that has recently taken place in my life and also healing I feel I am being able to help others with and I see a little clearer why God has brought me the way He has. He knows the future as well as the past and He knows how to work things out so that He can use us in just the right time. I don't know what my future holds but for right now I do know He holds it and He knows.

On a positive note, after 6 months our boarders are gone. They made the decision last week to go back home to Houston and we wish them the best. It has been so quiet, clean and peaceful at home. Things are so much less stressful... It is for the best and maybe I can help someone in the future not have to let it get out of control. It's just been nice.

So until next time I have something to say which will be soon. Biggest Loser season 8 is here. I've seen the first episode and will be recaping that soon. Looks to be a very emotional season for sure.

I'm So Happy

Gavin got the Holy Ghost last night and was baptized in Jesus Name!!!! NOTHING can compare to that!!!! It was awesome. It was Holy Ghost Sunday at DFC and 30+ received the Holy Ghost and a good amount of them were baptized. Thank you Jesus!!!

Well, the rain is killing us. Our little farm is floating away. The poor animals are getting sour moods going. The water is standing so deep, our road has been closed down a couple times. Oreo was so despondant we had to take her to the vet and she got a antibiotic shot and also a B12 shot for energy. They are just miserable. All I can say is God PLEASE let the rain stop... could we get it in little doses? I mean the Trinity is getting ready to break cresting levels!!! Plus, I had to take the goat to the vet and I was so nasty and muddy and we got a cute vet. That is just wrong. Which I was covered in mud and not blood. That is a plus I guess. LOL.

How do you know what God's Will is for you? That is where I'm at in life right now. I have always felt like a certain thing in my life but at present it is coming to pass and people seem to think I'm doing the wrong thing. I was miserable adn longing and I find answers and happiness and joy and it's supposed to be wrong? I need answers God.

The last 2 Sundays I have been blessed to hear one of THE BEST praise teams in Pentecost in my opinion. They are dynamic and anointed, their talent is unmeasured. I have been awed by them at each service. I can't wait to hear their choir. I hear it's small compared to the amount of people they have in service but that it is awesome. I'm excited!!

God knows what he is doing. Sometimes he gives us the ability to bring hope and healing to others. I am blessed, so blessed.